this simple technique helps you let go of long-held anger

There are moments when anger refuses to leave. Even after the event has passed, even after you’ve talked about it, something inside keeps replaying it.

You revisit the words. You imagine different outcomes. You stay stuck in the unfinished story.

It’s not always that you want to hold on. Sometimes you just don’t know how to let go. But what if there were a simple, physical way to help the mind release it? A way that requires no complicated technique, no long process, just pen, paper and one small gesture.

In this article, I want to show you a simple technique that helps release anger, not by analysing it, but by physically letting it go. It’s based on a recent study where researchers tested what happens when people write down their anger and then literally throw it away. The results are surprisingly effective and might give you a practical tool to deal with the kind of everyday frustrations that tend to stay longer than they should.

A recent study from Japan tested exactly that.

First, let me give you some context.

The study was led by Yuta Kanaya and Nobuyuki Kawai, and published in Scientific Reports in 2024.

Participants were first asked to write a short essay sharing their opinions on a neutral topic. Then they received harsh, personal criticism. The feedback directly attacked their intelligence, judgement and reasoning, designed to trigger genuine frustration.

Afterwards, participants wrote freely about how they felt, what had upset them, what was going through their mind, why it bothered them.

Then came the key part:

Half were told to crumple the paper and throw it away. The other half simply kept the paper in front of them.

Finally, everyone reported how angry they still felt.

This is what they discovered.

The group who threw their paper away showed a significant drop in anger levels, returning almost fully to how they had felt before the criticism.

But, but.

The ones who kept their papers remained far more upset. Writing helped, but it wasn’t enough on its own.

Believe it or not, the act itself of discarding seemed to play a crucial role in allowing participants to let go of what they had written.

And you might wonder, why would something as simple as this work? At first glance, it seems almost too easy. But psychologically, it makes sense.

Let’s see.

Writing gives the emotion a shape. It takes what’s swirling in your head and places it onto paper (big fan of keeping a journal here!).

But, the physical act of disposal reinforces the idea that the emotion doesn’t belong to you anymore.

It’s a simple form of symbolic release. And our minds looooove symbolic gestures.

This is not far from what traditions like the Night of San Juan (that I mentioned in the previous newsletter) have practised for centuries, physically burning or discarding what no longer serves us.

Our minds often respond to small physical rituals like this. They help signal an ending, a separation.

Letting go.

Now.

This method isn’t designed for deep, complex emotional wounds, trauma and the like. But for everyday frustrations, small wounds, the kind that quietly drain your mental energy, it can offer surprising relief.

So, next time you find yourself stuck replaying a conversation or feeling irritated, try this:

Write it down.
Put everything on paper. All of it. That modafocker who insulted you in the supermarket queue, that stupid ex who wasted the best years of your life, that coworker talking shit behind your back, etc, etc. Be honest. Let it out without filtering.
Don’t analyse.
You’re not writing for anyone else but yourself. Forget perfection here. You’re simply releasing.
Crumple the paper.
Tear it, bin it or burn it (safely, please!). The key is the physical release.
Notice the shift.
Pay attention to how you feel afterwards. Even a small drop in tension matters.

Repeat as needed. Sometimes one round helps. Other times, you may want to revisit it again.

It is a simple act that helps. But, most importantly, remember, for you to let go of a situation:

You don’t need others to agree, apologise or understand.
You don’t need to explain your side one more time.
You don’t need to wait for the situation to resolve.

You simply give yourself permission to release what you’ve been carrying. That’s all. Not everything needs to be solved to be let go.

You see, life is complex, life is not black or white, and we need to learn to live with the in-betweens.

Sometimes, whatever hurt you just needs to be acknowledged, expressed and released (by you). Quietly, but intentionally, and fully.

You’re not stuck.

Let yourself be free.

And if you’re the kind of person who likes to go beyond the headlines and see how things were actually tested in the study (the setup, the numbers, the data) you can check the scientific paper over here. It’s short, clear, and surprisingly interesting, even if you’re not a psychology nerd.