Today, I want to share with you a little story that, when I first heard it, completely changed my perspective on life.
It’s a brief story that will give you the key to what to do when you feel hopeless, when you feel like nothing is worth it anymore.
In the world we live in today, a world where many societies (though not all) are hyperconnected…
You are exposed 24/7 to everything good and bad in the world. But, of course, the media always focuses on negative news, leading to a bias that favours negativity over positivity.
And if you’re a sensitive person, well, the cost of receiving all this information overload is considerable.
My recommendation is that if the content from “news outlets” or “social media” affects you a lot, limit its use, filter it, or avoid it altogether. You’ve been warned!
I still remember my grandfather, who used to say that in his youth, he could go here or there, and he could go alone, and people didn’t feel as worried. He would tell anecdotes of how there wasn’t so much violence in the world back then, how people lived more peacefully, without a constant threat to their physical safety. And, of course, he compared it to now. To a dark world, full of violence, drama, and desolation.
Has the world become more violent?
Or do we now simply have access to see the world in detail, every minute?
And not only do we see it, but we see certain news stories all the time. Negative ones.
Psychology tells us that humans have the potential to lean towards good or evil. Everyone, without exception. Women and men.
But their context will influence their behaviour, pushing it one way or the other (in addition to their natural tendencies, which are linked to personality traits inherited genetically).
So, according to this, the world has always been violent. It has always had the potential for peace. There is potential for both situations.
But overexposure to certain types of information makes you feel, like my grandfather, that this is a terrible world, full of injustices.
And it’s true, it is.
But it’s also a world full of kindness, joy, heroic gestures, generosity, and love.
It depends on who, how, and what is done with each person’s potential.
Not everyone can choose. But surely you, reading this, can.
I’ve been wanting to share this story with you for a while. For me, it has a special and deep meaning. I heard it a long time ago from the great artist Alejandro Jodorowsky, who told it in one of his talks.
It was a short Chinese story. And it goes like this:
“In a place in the East, there was a very tall mountain that cast a shadow over a village, causing the children to grow up stunted. One day, an old man, the oldest of all, left the village with one of those small porcelain Chinese spoons in his hand.
The neighbours asked him: ‘Where are you going, old man?’
‘I’m going to the mountain,’ he replied.
‘And what for?’
‘I’m going to move the mountain.’
‘And how will you move it?’
‘With this spoon.’
‘Hahaha, you’ll never be able to.’
‘Yes, I’ll never be able to, but someone has to start doing it.’”
Take a moment. Read it again.
Now, think: “If it’s impossible for me to change the world, at least I can start to change it.”
If there’s something in your world, in your life, or in society on a larger scale that you don’t like, that you wish was better…
It’s easy to get stuck, overwhelmed by how big a task like this might be.
But any task, no matter how immense or impossible it seems, we can start, even if we don’t believe we’ll ever finish it.
It’s impossible to create a tree, but you can plant a seed. Other beings, other events, will take care of making it grow…
This reminds me of something the psychologist Jordan Peterson said early on. He said something like, if one wants to change the world, one should start by making their bed. “Just make your bed!” he used to say.
And many, focused on the literal meaning of his words, didn’t go beyond that statement and didn’t understand the magic behind his message.
He meant: if you want to change the world, start with yourself. That is, start with what you can (and should) control and improve. Start with that, and go from there.
So, identify what that gigantic, overwhelming thing is that you’d like to change—maybe at your job, maybe in a system you live in, maybe in the world.
Then, find out what your small act might be—how you, from where you are, with your resources, with what you know, here and now, could do. In other words, what is your porcelain spoon?
My porcelain spoon is to act in alignment with my own values, through small acts of kindness.
I’ll give you some examples:
- Inviting a friend for coffee when I know they’re struggling financially.
- Passing along a job contact, giving a good reference for someone who needs a new job.
- Helping a colleague by doing an (extremely long) test they need to submit their thesis.
- By not participating in a horrible gossip going around the office about a co-worker.
- Going to a party, even though I don’t know anyone, because I know it’s important to my friend.
Or also, writing this newsletter with the intention of sharing my learnings with others, with you. With the hope that they will be useful to you, that they will inspire you, that they will move you.
And, of course, by offering care to my most suffering patients, or by reinforcing the confidence of those who navigate life with more ease.
Don’t be greedy. Focus on the small and achievable acts.
Love,
Noemi
