Most people wait until life falls apart to ask the big questions. It usually takes some kind of crisis (loss, illness, heartbreak, failure) for us to pause and think:
“What the hell am I doing with my life?”
But by then, the floodwaters have already risen.
And this is exactly the problem: we build our lives as if we have all the time in the world, then we panic when the storm hits. As psychologist Dr Jordan Peterson puts it,
“If your ark is half-built and you don’t know how to captain it, the probability is very high that you’ll drown.”
Only those of us who have been through serious storms know the truth behind that metaphor. This isn’t motivational fluff, it’s a brutal truth.
But there is hope: you can prepare for the chaos. Not by pretending it won’t come, but by facing it before it arrives. And through that voluntary confrontation, you don’t just survive, you can transform.
The World Is Full of Suffering. Now What?
Let’s start with the obvious: life fucking hurts.
Even under the best conditions, you will still face loss, betrayal, sickness, decay and death. Sorry to be a party pooper, but that’s the truth. Add to that the layers of human cruelty and absurdity, and it’s no wonder many people feel hopeless.
And if we are really honest with ourselves: the world is not just painful, it’s also malevolent. Pretending otherwise makes you weaker, not stronger. Naivety helps nobody.
But without getting stuck in the pain and helplessness that come from realising we live in a malevolent world, I want to remind you that there is hope within the darkness, not despite it.
“If you look in the darkness, you find the light,” Dr Jordan Peterson says.
Into the Abyss
There’s a reason so many mythological stories send the hero into the underworld. That descent is symbolic of facing everything you’d rather avoid: fear, grief, guilt, regret, limitation. The abyss is not just a metaphor. It’s the internal state you reach when the meaning you were living with collapses.
But look, still, I insist: go there willingly. Face the dragon. Stare at what terrifies you. Because deep inside that chaos lies the information, strength, and renewal you most need.
When you choose to confront suffering, you are no longer its passive victim. You become an agent. And agents change things, first within themselves, then around them (it doesn’t work the other way around).
Meaning Is Found in Responsibility
There’s something that, despite being obvious, many people try to avoid at all costs. Especially nowadays. And that is the act of taking responsibility for one’s own life.
Let me tell you, the less responsibility you’re willing to take for your life, the weaker you will become. And if you don’t believe me, time will prove me right.
Dr Peterson returns over and over to this idea: the voluntary adoption of responsibility is what gives life meaning.
What gives life meaning is not pleasure, not ease, not the absence of problems. But carrying a load that is heavy and worthwhile.
Why? Because responsibility binds your actions to something beyond you. It turns your private struggle into a moral narrative.
If you’re suffering for no reason, it’s hell. If you’re suffering for something that matters, it’s purpose.
So the question isn’t “How do I get rid of this pain?” but rather, “What could I carry that would justify it?”
The Resurrection of the Self
There’s a powerful moment in Peterson’s thinking when he connects this all to ancient religious symbolism. In Christian mythology, Christ doesn’t just preach. He suffers. Willingly. He takes on the burden of existence and transforms it.
Peterson doesn’t suggest you need to become religious to understand this. What he does say is: if you take on the “unbearable burden of being” voluntarily, you become something new.
Your full potential isn’t activated by comfort. It’s activated when you confront the darkness and keep walking.
Biologically, this is even true: studies show that when you place yourself in novel, demanding situations, your body and brain literally change. New capacities emerge. You become more of yourself. Or perhaps: you become who you were meant to be. You reach your full potential. Booking yet another holiday retreat to mentally escape your problems won’t do that.
The Light in the Darkness
Here’s a nice paradox: the deeper you go into what hurts, the more likely you are to find what heals.
I’m not saying suffering is good, but the alternative, avoidance, is worse.
We’re told to seek balance, positivity, calm, chill, relax. etc etc etc etc
I suggest something more important: don’t chase comfort. Chase meaning. And meaning will carry you through the discomfort.
When you understand this, the aim of life changes. Life is no longer about avoiding chaos, it’s about being the kind of person who can face it. Who can walk into it, not unscathed, but transformed.
And deep within you, you’ll feel it. You’ll know it.
You’ll feel more capable, more confident in yourself, more brave, less insecure.
You Are Not Done Yet
One question: “What would you be if all of you that could be turned on was turned on?”
Most people don’t even come close to finding out. They’re too afraid of what it might cost.
“Ooohhh there’s too much responsibility”
…
“Ohhh it’s a high commitment”
…
And yes, there is a cost. Everything worthwhile has a cost. You have to leave behind the parts of you that cling to comfort, blame, safety.
If you think, even for a second, that avoiding the responsibility of doing something you know you should be doing is somehow going to benefit you in the long run…
Darling, go back to planning that fifth girls’ trip to Ibiza, book that three-day Primaverahorriblesound festival, spend the rest of your savings on Ozempic doses, break up and make up for the eleventh time in a year… you name it. But, for the life of me, do not dare complain. Not on my watch.
There’s always a cost, no matter what you decide to do.
But if you do the right thing, in return, you get something else: a life you can stand behind. A self you can respect. A pride within yourself.
A life worth living. What’s better than that?
So, as I was saying before, build the ark now. Before the flood. Practise being the kind of person who can handle the weight of existence. Carry something. Fix something. Face something. Whatever.
And if you do that long enough, with enough sincerity and courage, you might just find that the darkness wasn’t the end of you. It was the beginning of a life worth living.
Listen.
You won’t find a manual for your life, but you could find maps, principles, and truths that help you build one. Beyond Order is one of those rare books that doesn’t sugar-coat reality, but teaches you how to navigate it with strength, depth, and clarity.
Love,
Noemi
P.S. This book is a good start, before life decides for you. If you want to stay stuck, you’d be better off on TikTok.
