If I had to list the ten issues that come up most often in my private practice, motivation would be near the top. The whole “I need to do X and I have no motivation, what do I do?” problem.
If you also struggle with this, don’t worry, you’re not the only one. Keep reading, this is for you.
First, this: one of the clearest ways to understand motivation comes from sport, because sport is built on discipline.
That’s why my favourite online trainer, Sydney Cummings Houdyshell, always ends her workouts with a few words to motivate people to keep going with their training, and sometimes she gets it exactly right, like in the passage I’m sharing here:
“We cannot depend on motivation to get us going.
It’ll be there sometimes. Most of the time, it won’t.
All you can depend on to get you going is actually getting in motion.
It doesn’t have to mean a workout. It can mean something productive.
Make your to-do list. Cross something off your to-do list.
Motivation is always going to be fleeting.
What’s always present is the blessing of being able to say:
“Let me get something in motion.”
“Let me get my meal prep done.”
“Stop thinking about it. Just put the eggs in the pan.”
Don’t think so much about it. Just start moving your body.
Don’t think:
“I’m tired.”
“I don’t know if I can do this.”
“I have this later today.”
Move.
When in doubt, start moving into action.
With a to-do list.
With cooking something.
With making the right choice to get water instead of soda.
Whatever it is.
Move your body in order to motivate yourself.”
-Sydney, the absolute legend.
This is the thing about motivation: motivation isn’t the starting point. It can be one of the consequences of getting moving.
Waiting until you feel motivated is a trap, because very often motivation shows up after you start, not before.
This is the solution: the best way to do what you have to do is to design an action that’s clear enough, small enough and repeatable enough that it doesn’t depend on whatever mood you’re in at that moment.
I’ll say it again: never depend on your mood to do the things you have to do. Waiting for the right mood: that’s the trap.
In therapy, I don’t only use examples from sport. We can also look to art to see how to stop waiting endlessly for motivation to arrive.
The great writer Gabriel García Márquez had a saying that went something like, “I want the muse to find me writing.”
Meaning, whether you have a creative project like writing, or a business or study project,
or you’re trying to get fit or reach a physical performance goal,
it doesn’t matter what goal you set for yourself, if you wait for the muse, as the writer called it, if you wait for motivation to come along like some benevolent force, lift you off the sofa and carry you towards the thing you know you have to do…
you’re going to spend your whole life waiting.
or worse: you’re going to spend your life complaining that you never reach your goals.
Waiting for motivation is often how people avoid the first uncomfortable move.
Motivation almost never appears before action. Very often, it appears after your body, your schedule or your decision has already started moving.
And if, despite the logic of what I’ve explained today, you still struggle to stop waiting for motivation to knock on your door before doing what you have to do, that’s something I can help you with. We can look at the ways you’re fooling yourself and work out which strategy would actually suit you.
Love,
Noemi
PS: whether we can work together or not, I’ll reply.
PS2: if you’re simply lazy, don’t fill in the form.
PS3: keep an eye on next week’s newsletter: I’ll bring it down to earth and show you exactly how to achieve your goals without relying only on motivation. It’ll land in your inbox next Friday, don’t miss it.
