Some time ago, I had a great revelation. A breakthrough. An aha moment.
After realising this, everything changed. Neither I nor my world were the same after that.
In fact, everything made sense.
And you might ask, what happened to you? Did you have a paranormal experience, a close encounter of the third kind?
No, I discovered something even more important than the discovery of life on other planets.
As you know, I’ve been writing some articles discussing the principles underlying the work of the goo-roo Louise Hay. And you might say, but why are you wasting your time talking about this woman and her work?
Well, relax, okay?
Let me tell you first, and you’ll see how this will interest you, a lot.
Louise said this:
“The innermost belief for everyone I have worked with is always, ‘I’m not good enough.’”
I couldn’t agree more with her.
From all the psychology I’ve had to study, nothing could have prepared me for what I would encounter in real life during my private practice.
The vast majority of people suffer from low self-esteem.
However, that doesn’t mean that most of them came to therapy troubled by this, or with difficulties in this regard, eager to work on this aspect, etc, etc.
Not at all.
You can forget about it.
What Louise forgot to mention is that most people suffer from low self-esteem, and they aren’t aware of it.
Completely oblivious.
Instead, what I’ve heard so far, are a million different stories. Allegedly, they have problems at work, in their relationships, with family, friends, achieving goals, problems with their mood, grief, and countless other stories, each one more different than the last.
But no one, to this day, has come and said: “Look, my big problem is I have low self-esteem, and I want you to help me with this.”
No way.
Low self-esteem, in general, is always something that comes disguised. Since most people aren’t aware that they have this problem and think their issue is related to something else …
Well.
That’s why low self-esteem takes on hundreds of thousands of disguises and hides beneath layers of lies (lies one tells oneself, of course).
Let’s see.
First of all, what is self-esteem? In short: It’s nothing more than the way one perceives oneself, values oneself, whether positively or negatively.
I don’t care if a coach comes along now and tells me that self-esteem is an abstract concept, that it doesn’t really exist, or that it’s called something else. Or who knows what.
Silence. Let the adults talk.
Something very important to bear in mind about self-esteem is that it’s given to us. We don’t choose or create it ourselves. No, no.
It depends on our biology, our personality, but most importantly… on our original environment. Meaning, who raised you? who brought you up? how was your upbringing? etc, etc.
Now, no need for anyone to panic here.
The good thing, the best part of all this is that, if your self-esteem doesn’t work for you, you can change it.
Louise also said:
“We often add to that (to the “I’m not good enough”), “and I don’t do enough,” or “I don’t deserve.”
Does this sound like you? Often saying or implying or feeling that you “are not good enough?”
But for whom? And according to whose standards?
If this belief is very strong in you, then how could you possibly have created a loving, joyous, prosperous, healthy life?
Somehow your main subconscious belief would always be contradicting it. Somehow you would never quite get it together, for something would always be going wrong somewhere.”
And perhaps, after all this, you’ll say, well, so what? I’m not that bad.
If only you knew…
This is the key.
This was the greatest discovery for me.
If only you knew how important how you feel about yourself is and the consequences of this in every area of your life.
How you treat yourself. How you talk to yourself. How you perceive yourself. All of this. The good or bad self-esteem you have will affect everything.
This is not something to take lightly.
Everything. I mean everything.
From the decisions you make. How you relate to others. How you relate to yourself (the most important relationship). The way you act in the world. The opportunities you accept or let pass. Everything is influenced by your self-esteem.
Well. The list of things is endless.
What is not endless is the time you have in this life.
So, think about it.
Louise Hay in her method recommended saying affirmations to start changing. Something like repeating this every day:
“I love myself. I approve of myself.”
And although it might help a bit, affirmations alone aren’t enough.
The truth is, Louise was mistaken in saying that affirmations can change the way you feel about yourself. Much more needs to be done. And it can be done.
You can relearn to love yourself.
Of that I’m sure.
Love,
Noemi
PS2: This is the fourth, fifth? (honestly, I don’t remember!) part of a series of articles in which I’m discussing Louise Hay’s philosophy key points. If you want to see the others, take a look here. You can also get her masterpiece here.
